Fifty Shades of Grey annoyed me from page one. (If you plan on reading this, by the way, and plan on enjoying it, you might not want to read this.) I just knew this was a writing style that gets under my skin. I despised the main character. I also abhorred her suitor, Mr. Grey, partly because he liked her in the first place.

Anastasia Steele (what kind of name is that, seriously?) bites her lip a lot. If Ana wasn’t biting her lip, she was delivering some line out loud or in her head along the lines of “Holy crap!” or “Holy Cow!” or “Jeez!” Her favorites were some form of crap, “Holy crap,” “Double crap,” or the crap of all craps, “Triple crap!”

Aside from the atrocious dialogue, there is Ana’s inner monologue which goes back and forth between her “inner goddess” and “subconscious,” as she calls them. I wanted to scream when either of these was mentioned. This while book is nothing but dreadful, dull repetition. Characters are constantly whispering, mumbling, murmuring, grinning, frowning, arching an eyebrow, cocking their head to one side – it’s as if the author threw a few mannerisms in a bowl and picked one every time she needed one. She also repeats the same phrases throughout the book…on the same page, even. Then she randomly throws in a high-level SAT vocabulary word maybe from her Word of the Day calendar, which just looks ridiculous.