August 30, 2014

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Opinion
Cantor’s swan song
Written by Kathleen Parker   
Saturday, July 12, 2014 8:00 PM

By KATHLEEN PARKER

 

WASHINGTON — About that stunning defeat.

Conventional Wisdom, that self-righteous propagandist, has it that Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s trouncing by an academic, tea-sipping nobody marks the end of the GOP establishment.

The tea party candidate crushed Cantor, they say. The old-guard Republican Party is toast! It’s over. Finito.

And those were the Democrats talking.

Funny thing is, the tea party folks had been saying more or less the same thing, for exactly the same reason. It fit the narrative that served both groups. The tea party was losing its power to overthrow the titans. Witness the primary victories of a couple of old-timer targets, South Carolina’s Lindsey Graham and Kentucky’s Mitch McConnell.

The Democratic Party was losing its narrative that the tea party wacko-birds control the GOP.

Thus, Dave Brat, the Republican nominee for Cantor’s seat, was a gift from Google. Or God. But I repeat myself. The narrative is back, baby!

In the nation’s capital, the mourning for Cantor was over faster than a Rick Perry gay fundraiser. It is an awesome day — or something — when Nancy Pelosi and Ted Cruz are grinning about the same state of affairs. You don’t know whether to signal Scotty to beam you up or whistle for Toto.

 
Basic education for all pilots
Written by Byron McNutt   
Saturday, July 12, 2014 8:00 PM

BY BYRON MCNUTT

The Eagle River Airport is a valuable asset for the greater Vilas County area. The daily airplane traffic and the number of hangars you find on the grounds tells us of its importance to the area’s economy.

The following “20 rules for flight” actually came from people at the Tomahawk Regional Airport. I’d guess anyone with a pilot’s license has seen this list and can attest to their validity.

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there rather than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane which is used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops you can actually see the pilot sweating.

7. When in doubt hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A good landing is one from which you can walk away. A great landing is one after which you can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small likelihood of survival, and vice versa.

12. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains tend to hide out in clouds.

13. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs you’ve made.

14. You start out with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag with experience before you empty the bag of luck.

15. Helicopters can’t actually fly. They’re just so darned ugly that the earth repels them.

16. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

17. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed. Why are there no parachutes or flotation vests?

18. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are!

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles an hour and the ground going zero miles an hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law.

 
Births
Written by Infomation submitted   
Sunday, July 06, 2014 8:14 PM

ST. RITA’S

A boy was born July 1 to Brittni Stevenson and Nick Burden of Elida.

A girl was born July 1 to Amanda and Richard Maag of Fort Jennings.

 
Finally, I’m the Bingo Queen!
Written by Nancy Spencer   
Saturday, July 05, 2014 8:00 PM

I won’t insult anyone by saying I never win anything. I have won a thing or two in my day but I NEVER WIN at Bingo!

It never used to bother me because I enjoy playing. I enjoy the suspense. I like waiting breathlessly for the caller to say B-5 or N-27 — the last number I need for Bingo. And usually, it just doesn’t happen.

I found out I’m pretty much a poor loser when there are big-ticket items involved — like, let’s say, purses.

I attended the first Canal Days Purse Bingo and I was so excited. Some people are into shoes, some people are into hats — I love purses! I don’t have a lot. Just a few select ones I just couldn’t live without.

I went to the Purse Bingo with a friend and we found a few more to sit with and then we were off. The caller was flying through the balls and still no Bingo. A few cards held only two or three sad little dabs. When the purse I had my eye on came up the butterflies started in my stomach and I held my breath with each new call. I just had to have that purse!

Well, that didn’t happen and I am ashamed to say it made me a little angry. OK, I was mad. I wanted that purse!

So, the rest of the games I pouted as purse after purse went to someone else. All I wanted was the Bingo madness to stop.

Then, on the way home, the lady who won my purse was walking north on Main Street toward my house. Hmm. I had a few evil thoughts and then I went home and pouted some more.

Bingo returned to Canal Days the next two years and every time someone asked me if I was going to play, I just shook my head and said I had to be somewhere else. Why put myself through all that? I was also a little embarrassed by my own actions and feelings the first time. Really, Nancy. Pouting over Purse Bingo?

 
Tips for healthier, happier life
Written by Byron McNutt   
Saturday, July 05, 2014 8:00 PM

About 15 years ago a colleague of mine came across a list of 20 ways to make our lives more pleasant. Some of them relieve stress, some are timesavers and all will lead you to a healthier, happier way of life.

The advice is good for people of all ages. Most are simple, common sense ways to face life’s challenges. See how many you can embrace.

1. Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed on time.

2. Don’t rely solely on your memory. Write down when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.

3. Don’t put up with things that don’t work right. If something is a constant aggravation, get it fixed or replace it.

4. Plan ahead. Don’t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full, keep a well-stocked “emergency shelf” of supplies at home.

5. Make friends with nonworriers. Stress is contagious.

6. An instant cure for most stress: 30 minutes of brisk walking or other aerobic exercise.

7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse. Another way—write out your anger in the sand near the water’s edge.

8. Take your scissors to your credit cards. Wait until you can pay cash for things you don’t absolutely need.

9. Think of your next embarrassing situation as an episode on TV’s “Candid Camera.”

10. Every day, make time for some solitude.

11. Schedule a realistic day. Allow ample time between appointments so you don’t have to rush, worry and apologize for being late.

12. Talk it out. Discussing your problem with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.

 
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